Muslim women in Kharkov: “It is sincerity and care that is mostly needed for children in relations with parents”

Children are not only great joy and delight in the eyes of parents, but also a great responsibility shouldered on them. This responsibility is to be carried by fathers and mothers both in this and future life, as they will be inevitably asked in Judgment Day about how they brought up their offspring and how they built relations with their kids. This great responsibility pushes Muslims toward search for knowledge about children’s care and education and fostering trustful atmosphere in the family.

Is was so on June, 4 2012, when the seminar for women, devoted to the Day of Children Protection, was held in the Islamic Cultural Center “Al-Manar” in Kharkov, which gave them an opportunity to analyze their relation with their own children and their family atmosphere.

The seminar was opened by Mrs. Svetlana Putilina who delivered lecture “Bringing up children in Islam”. She started with objecting the established stereotype that mother has to engage in bringing up the children whereas father may show indifferent attitude in this matter. She stressed that “both parents bear responsibility for bringing up their child in the best matter, by offering him (her) a good behavior pattern. Children are born to this world with guaranteed rights and demands to their parents, relatives and society, and when growing up they are also obliged to keep with certain norms of moral behavior”.

There’s a story of  Caliph Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) who was once visited by a man coming to complain of his son. Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) call that young man to find out reasons behind his behavior and gave him the guidance on how a Muslim should treat his parents. Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) mentioned the responsibilities of parents: “First, a future father must choose the pious mother for his child. Second, parents must give him good and noble name. Third, mother and father should care that their child gains knowledge beneficial for his (her) soul rather than material wellbeing. They must teach the child to live by judging his/her actions according to the Book of Allah, the Holy Koran.

Much attention was given by the author to issues of proper interactions between parents and their children. Children don’t grow up in isolation, as in kindergartens or in the street they may get in contact with their mates who are not being brought up on the Islamic background. Parents must constantly engage in self-development and building up trustful relations with a child, to protect him (her) from abandoning  his (her) Islamic identity, and to ensure that when he (she) grows he (she) will be healthy, honest and good, to save him (her) from harmful factors ruining his (her) mind and soul.

It is very important that sexual education of a child should start in cradle, to ensure his (her) proper perception of his(her) gender.  Specifics of sexual education were shown in the lecture of Oksana Alsheih who introduced the audience to its key aspects, and spoke about when and how gender education should better be started.

She says: “Children begin to be aware of gender distinctions existing between them when they are only two years old. Sexual education of a child must start with the birth. Boys and girls must be brought up in a different way in matters like choice of clothes, toys, games etc.”

Mrs. Oksana reminded the guests about the need to pay great attention to sexual education in spite of its being one of the most complicated matters for parents: “Many parents, unfortunately, do not treat this matter quite seriously, or feel shy when discussing it with their children. Yet, children’s curiosity in this matter won’t disappear when parents avoid its discussion, as they will be trying to find answers on the matter in talks with mates or in Internet, which can lead to bad ends”.

Fostering of children’s personality and his (her) sexual education cannot be dissociated from the religious education, as the more the child is taught in religion, the happier life he (she) will have. The main responsibility for religious learning of children is put on their parents. Also, mothers and fathers should sincerely ask Allah for strong faith, righteousness and piety for their children, so as the latter should become true servants of their Creator, gain His pleasure and enter the Garden of Heavens. 

In the conclusion of the seminar, adults got a chance of looking at the world with their children’s eyes. They were shown a video record in which children spoke about the kind of parents they desired and things bringing them the greatest happiness. Many adults could not restrain tears during the review, as the film made them analyze their relations with their children whose greatest desire was not “tough”  toys or a vast heap of clothes, but parents’ care, which they, unfortunately, are often devoid of.

Reporter.